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Award winning author, S. Joan Popek, has given me the honor and adventure of taking
me on her enchanted journey through the magical lands of 'happily ever afters' and 'once upon of times'
of a S. Joan Popek kind. To read her witty, clever tales and reasoning, one must wonder
if her Freudian outlook of fairytales are indisputable. I read this book in one sitting this morning;
I nearly blew chunks of laughter, snickering at some of the analogies Joan made from timeless classics
such as: Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Goldie Locks, and many other renowned characters that
have shaped our childhood.
In today's society, I have heard the protests and bellyaching about Harry Potter and many other
modern day fantasy tales. What I find ironic is, most these complainers adored the good ole'
fashioned fairytales. You know: Mother Goose Stories and even Disney fairytales -- I agree with Joan
Popek's assertions of these little rhyming dementias. I too must say, what is up with the,
"Rub-a-Dub-Dub-Three-Men-in-a-Tub" ditty? Now, I'd hate to have to figure that one
out much else have to explain that little scene to a tyke.
Joan Popek has given some hilarious but insightful input on Jack and Jill romping down the
hill together, Georgie Porgie, Jack the Nimble (who appears to be a pyromaniac), Snow White living
in a one bedroom home with seven little men, Ahem, Joan's right, that sure leaves a lot to wonder
about, but let's not! And doesn't anyone find it odd, a Prince kissing a corpse? Watch out for
Prince's if you come across them in a cemetery, is all I can say.
After reflecting back on the many demented and abnormal fairytales and Mother Goose rhymes, Joan
Popek offers her own dementia to the asinine concoction of brew. Now that your kiddies have been
properly primed by fairytales and the rhymes of old - Joan will finish their little minds off
with her zany tales. I will give you a snippet of her tales; but, to really get the punch and
the irony you must read these enchanting tales yourself. Each story listed below is from her collection
of frivolous fallacies.
About the stories:
BIGGER THAN BOTH OF US:
What could possibly be more mean and bigger than an Ogre? You are about to find out in
this hair-raiser tale about an Ogre who sits on a rock and knits while telling a Knight
his life story. You be the judge after reading this tale: should a knitting Ogre put down
the needles and rape, pillage, and plunder?
THE PIE-EYED PIPER:
You are told the tale of the Piper's son, Tom - who stole a pig and away he run in the most
daring way. Tom's enjoying some suds at the bar, crying in his beer to the Barkeeper about his
thieving son. Parenting skills and discipline are brought into this little fable.
JUST ONE LITTLE FINGER:
When a sorcerer needs a dragon claw to finish her spell - she goes to Derwood the Dragon to plead
for his claw. She needs this "finger" to finish her potion and since the Princess
made it illegal to kill dragons, she feels it is Derwood's responsibility to provide the final
ingredient. She ends up slashing off the Dragon's finger without his permission. The dialogue
in this tale is incredible, and will leave you in belly-roars.
DRAGON TALES:
A spicy wench is gone in a flash. Well, at least munched. Do dragons really desire virgins?
LITTLE BOY BLUE'S DONE GROWED UP:
Little Boy Blue under a haystack fast asleep: Little Boy Blue's father is not happy; he needs
Blue to blow the horn because the sheep is in the meadow and the cows have broken down a fence and
is in the corn. I wonder why Little Boy Blue hasn't been watching those animals, don't you? Could
it be, he's been keeping company with Mary Quite Contrary and her pretty maids? Blue thinks his
mother would be thrilled to know how his father knows so much about Mary - his father feels scardy-cat
Miss Muffet is more of a catch for Blue. When that fatherly advice doesn't encourage Blue, his
farther discusses Mary (the one who had a little lamb) Blue is not amused - explaining how everyone laughs at
her. You are going to enjoy this tale very much. You will be snickering throughout. His father realizes
his son could be a lot worse, if Blue was to be more like his strange cousin.
HARD TIMES:
It is said: The Prince must rescue a Princess and make her his bride - nothing promises the Princess
he will be a dashing, good looking, Prince. But this hideous Prince with a lop-sided nose, was
destined to find his Princess and live happily ever after. Times were hard for this con-artist and
pick-pocketer. The Princess was kidnapped from the Kingdom - sending the King into a tizzy, even
killing off staff. The reward of finding the Princess would be her hand in marriage and all the
gold. Prince Pete, our hideous Prince was eager to get his grubby hands on this venture. He sold
the wannabe rescuers all sorts of defective weaponry and made a killing off them. An excellent tale
of acquiring a Princess with the help of a Fairy God Mother's help - with a final twist.
GOING TO GRANNY'S HOUSE:
Well, you all know the story of "Little Red Riding Hood" and her devotion to her Granny -
this tale has a new twist for this little fable. What in the world does Red see in these long tongued
wolves, hmm? It's enough to leave a bartender blushing.
PRINCESS PENELOPE AND THE COOK:
I have heard, "a way to a mans heart is through his belly" but this has a new twist
on that belief. A Princess falls in love with the staff cook, but her royal father won't hear
of it. What happens when a cook falls in love with a Princess? Well, Princess Penelope Puffy, Penny
for short, is kidnapped and the king decrees if anyone can bring her back, they can have her hand
in marriage. The cook concocts a plan and sure enough he saves his damsel - a penny saved
is a penny earned!
THE STEPMOM SYNDROME:
Cinderella thought her step-mother was evil but she couldn't hold a candle to Goldie's experience
as a Step-Mother. While the two discuss their experiences you are hurled into a world of
hilarity and madcap. If you want to really know about Hansel and Gretel, those two little
darlings -- read on and you will pity poor Goldie. Cindy has come to realize her psychiatrist and
Goldie are right -- her Step-Mother could have been a lot worse, and step-mother's get a rap
in fairytales.
THE LEPRECHAUN AND THE GOOD OLD BOY:
When Gordon confides in his wife that he had a flittering experience in the woods - she becomes
irate and his family jewels aching, his wife leaves him, and he is seeing little green
leprechauns. Aren't little green leprechauns suppose to 'bring' good luck? Too bad you can't
ask Babe Ruth! Gordon explained to his wife he had made it all up and promised his sweetie a
new car, thanks to Alex his ornery leprechaun. Then his wifey, like all the women of the world
want a lock of Mel Gibson's hair. How dreamy! What an outcome Gordon has when he tries to retrieve
this lock of hair.
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