23rd July.

Mr A.J. Farnsworth (Managing Director).

Huntley Insurance Brokers,

13 Umbridge Street.

Chetterton.

C23 3RA.

Dear Mr Farnsworth,

Thank you for considering me for the position advertised in The Gazette last month, and for the interview you granted me two weeks ago. Your letter arrived promptly this morning, stating that you do not find me suitable for the job. Please, I urge you to continue reading; do not simply cast this aside as you have done my services.

Firstly I feel I must respond to some of the issues you raised in your letter (thank you, by the way, for composing the letter yourself, even if your secretary did type it – so much more personal than the standard photocopied ones). I understand that I have not worked in some time, due mainly to circumstances beyond my control; like I stated at the interview and in my C.V. (which as you kindly pointed out was disappointingly short and lacking in qualifications). But this in itself would not necessarily have prevented me from working for your firm. If anything, I would have given one hundred and ten percent to repay you for offering me a chance. For giving me a break. I’m positive, despite what you might say, that I could have handled the work quite easily if someone had been willing to show me the ropes. However this is sadly all academic now, isn’t it?

I can’t begin to tell you how much this post would have meant to me and my loved ones, my girlfriend and child. We were all looking forward to it, to being a normal, happy family again…You say you found my attitude off-putting, and it’s funny you should mention that. Mary, my partner, is always telling me I loose my temper too quickly, but then I’ve had a lot to put up with over the years. Sorry, do bear with me, I’m getting to the point. You haven’t stopped reading this, I hope? It’s very important that you carry on reading…

You see, I’ve taken out a little insurance policy of my own. Just in case. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands lately. Time to think, to watch. To watch your family wave you off in the mornings as you go to your cushy little job in your expensive car and…They remind me a great deal of my own family. We all have responsibilities, you know.

That’s why, Mr Farnsworth, I visited your house again this morning, to explain it to them. To show them your letter. And guess what? They agree with me, your daughters and your wife. They say that your behaviour has been absolutely intolerable, so they decided to come along with me instead…after a little gentle persuasion. To replace my…my own family now that they’ve gone.

Ah, ah, ah. Before you reach for the phone to call the police, consider this. Do you ever want to see them again, Mr Farnsworth? If you bring in outsiders I doubt very much that it will happen. And don’t bother trying to trace me, I no longer live at the number on my application form. Also the courier who delivered this has no idea of my true whereabouts (I gave him my old address, clever eh?). So that’s that.

I know what you must be thinking, what have I done to them? (after all, they have been with me for a good few hours now); are they alive or are they dead? And this brings me to the purpose of my letter. To find out you’re just going to have to meet with me, aren’t you? Then we can discuss my future at your company. I think you’ll agree now that you acted rather hastily in dismissing me, yes? I can use my initiative when I have to, Mr Farnsworth, and this goes to prove it. I have so much to offer, if only I could make you understand…

The alleyway behind McDonalds. Tonight. Come alone, I’ll know if you don’t.

Thank you for your precious time, Mr Farnsworth, and I look forward to seeing you again soon.

Yours truly,

S. Rawlings (aspiring insurance broker).